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Going No Contact with Family: What the Bible Really Says: Have you ever asked God, โ€œIs this really You?โ€ โ€” especially when He leads you to do something as radical as stepping away from your own family? If you’re navigating a season of distance, confusion, or estrangement with loved onesโ€”and wrestling with whether it’s biblicalโ€”this post is for you.

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What Does โ€œGoing No Contactโ€ Actually Mean?

Letโ€™s define it. โ€œGoing no contactโ€ means making the deliberate choice to sever all communication with someoneโ€”often a family memberโ€”due to repeated harm, toxic patterns, or emotional damage. While some see it as a trending form of self-preservation, others view it as selfish or unforgiving.

But hereโ€™s the real question: Is going no contact ever biblical?

What Culture Is Saying About No Contact

This trend isnโ€™t newโ€”but itโ€™s louder today. Millennials and Gen Z are openly talking about walking away from family for the sake of mental and emotional safety. Many experts affirm that emotional health may require distance. Critics, however, claim itโ€™s a symptom of โ€œhyper-individualism,โ€ arguing that younger generations are quick to ghost instead of reconcile.

As therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab explains, โ€œBoundaries are not a betrayal. They are a bridge to healthy relationships.โ€ In other words, protecting your emotional well-being isnโ€™t disloyaltyโ€”itโ€™s stewardship.

Read more on the rise of no contact culture.

In recent years, โ€œgoing no contactโ€ has become a mainstream conversation, especially among Millennials and Gen Z. Once whispered about in private, itโ€™s now openly shared on platforms like TikTok, Reddit, and Instagram. Posts with hashtags like #nocontactjourney, #familyestrangement, or #boundariesarebiblical often go viral, as people share stories of walking away from relationships that felt emotionally, mentally, or spiritually unsafe.

For many, itโ€™s framed as an act of self-love or survival. Therapists and mental health advocates emphasize the importance of setting boundariesโ€”sometimes even cutting ties completelyโ€”when relationships become abusive, manipulative, or chronically harmful.

โ€œYou donโ€™t owe anyone access to youโ€”especially if theyโ€™ve continually disrespected your boundaries,โ€ says licensed therapist Nedra Tawwab, a prominent voice on emotional wellness and boundaries.

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But There’s Another Side to the Conversation…

Not everyone agrees.

Critics of the no contact movement say itโ€™s a symptom of our โ€œcancel cultureโ€ mentalityโ€”a hyper-individualistic approach that avoids hard conversations and prioritizes comfort over reconciliation. Some argue that itโ€™s become too easy to label discomfort as toxicity and escape accountability under the guise of โ€œprotecting your peace.โ€

Some elders, cultural commentators, and traditional faith voices see it as a breakdown of family values, labeling it as disrespectful, dishonoring, or evidence of an unforgiving generation.

Thereโ€™s also a deep generational gap at play. Older generations often grew up with the belief that โ€œfamily is everything,โ€ while younger ones are more likely to say, โ€œFamily can be chosenโ€”not just assigned.โ€

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So What Do We Do With This?

The cultural conversation reveals a tension:

  • On one hand, people are awakening to the damage of generational trauma and refusing to repeat cycles.
  • On the other hand, we risk turning necessary separation into permanent bitterness when God may be calling us to heal, not just retreat.

And thatโ€™s why we have to go beyond culture and back to Christ.

Is Going No Contact Biblical? Yesโ€ฆ and No.

God does call people to separate when a relationship endangers their soul, faith, or calling. Think:

  • Abraham, called to leave his family (Genesis 12:1)
  • Joseph, betrayed and separated from his brothers (Genesis 37)
  • David, pursued by Saul, hiding in caves (1 Samuel 24)
  • Paul, instructing believers to โ€œhave nothing to doโ€ with the disobedient (2 Thess. 3:14)

But the key is: Itโ€™s about obedience, not offense.

Biblical separation is never for revenge or prideโ€”itโ€™s for pruning, protection, and preparation. Itโ€™s not rooted in bitterness, but in the will of God.

Example: Abraham and Lot โ€” When Obedience Costs You Family

God told Abraham to leave his entire householdโ€”but Abraham brought his nephew Lot anyway (Genesis 12:1โ€“4). Eventually, their relationship became strained. The land couldn’t support both families, and their herdsmen began to argue. The result? Abraham and Lot had to separate (Genesis 13).

The lesson? Partial obedience is still disobedience. Abrahamโ€™s guilt cost him peace. Sometimes what feels like loyalty is really disobedience in disguise.

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My Personal Journey: When God Called Me to Walk Away

For years, I felt the nudge. Since 2017, God gave me dreams, prophecies, and inner convictionsโ€”but I dismissed them. I didnโ€™t trust my ability to hear His voice. I feared being wrong. I idolized community and avoided loneliness—all in the name of being “loyal to family” and the familiar.

It wasnโ€™t until after a season of intense loss, that I finally surrendered. Job loss. Relationship pruning. Isolation. Financial lack. And thatโ€™s when God whispered clearly: โ€œThis is Me. Let go.โ€

The heartbreak was realโ€”but so was the journey to freedom. Granted, it was FAR from easy to separate from my parents and family like I did. As we all know, our family is the thing that starts our identity, shapes the way we see the world, and all the in betweens. I believe that’s why it’s so hard to walk away sometimes. And then we have the Bible which has verses like:

โ€œHonor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. ” —– Exodus 20:12

“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” — 1 Timothy 5:8

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” — Colossians 3:20

Unfortunately, however, the above scriptures often are misinterpreted or used manipulatively without true context when quoted throughout church. And while there are no exceptions to following these commands throughout scripture, there are instances where God still asks you to disconnect or walk away——but it doesn’t mean that the honor [aka respect] has to stop. We must understand that you can honor people from a distance by not slandering their name, embarrassing them, etc. —- even when telling your truth.

Secondly, most of these scriptures refer to children, which means that God expects you to honor the idea of “authority”. This can explain why we never see God asking a child to leave their parent. In many cases, God required separation once they were young adults or adults—this is different. This is also where we see God ask a man to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. As as an adult, He asks you to do things for a bigger purpose—–not to contradict.

So, to free someone: if God has asked you to walk away from a relationship [family or not]—obey! Again, He never asks us to do anything outside of His will. As I’ve mentioned, your soul health comes first to God, therefore, if anything or anyone threatens that—-He separates to protect.

Just be open to reconciliation later if He requires it. Forgive and heal in the midst of the process of spearation. And pray for those whom you’ve had to separate from. It’s important that we keep our hearts pure and postured towards loving God AND people.

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How to Discern Godโ€™s Voice When Itโ€™s Hard or Silent

Letโ€™s be real: Sometimes, God feels far away. So how do you know if Heโ€™s calling you to walk awayโ€”or to wait?

If youโ€™ve ever asked, โ€œGod, is this Youโ€”or just me?โ€ youโ€™re not alone.

Hearing God clearly can feel especially challenging when you’re facing confusion, heartbreak, or silence. But the good news is this: God still speaksโ€”and He wants you to know His voice.

Jesus said in John 10:27,

โ€œMy sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.โ€

So why does it sometimes feel so hard?

Here are a few practical ways to discern:

  1. Prayer + Quiet Time โ€“ Ask. Listen. Be still.
  2. Scripture Alignment โ€“ Does it match Godโ€™s Word + His character?
  3. Wise Counsel โ€“ Spiritually mature believers often confirm what God is saying.
  4. Inner Peace โ€“ Even in hard decisions, God gives a deep, unshakable peace.
  5. Repetition + Confirmation โ€“ God doesnโ€™t mind confirming His Word (See: Gideon in Judges 6).

โ€œAsk, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will findโ€ฆโ€ โ€“ Matthew 7:7-8

1. Godโ€™s Silence Is Not His Absence

Just because Heโ€™s quiet doesnโ€™t mean Heโ€™s distant.

Sometimes God withholds clarity to strengthen your faith walk, teach you trust, or prepare you for what’s ahead. Other times, Heโ€™s waiting for you to get still long enough to actually listen.

Silence is often the space where spiritual maturity is formed. It invites us to seek Himโ€”not just answers.


2. Start with Surrender, Not Strategy

Too often, we come to God asking, โ€œWhatโ€™s the plan?โ€โ€”when Heโ€™s asking, โ€œDo you trust Me?โ€

Discerning God’s voice starts with heart posture, not hustle. Are you open to whatever He says, even if itโ€™s not what you want to hear?

Sometimes we canโ€™t hear Him clearly because weโ€™ve already decided what the answer should be.


3. Check for Peace, Not Just Preference

One of the ways God confirms direction is through peace that surpasses understanding (Phil. 4:7). Not the kind of peace that makes logical sense, but the kind that calms your spirit in the middle of uncertainty.

Ask yourself:

  • Is this leading marked by peace or pressure?
  • Am I moving out of fear, obligation, or people-pleasing?
  • Does this align with Godโ€™s character, or just my comfort?

4. Test the Voice Youโ€™re Hearing

God doesnโ€™t contradict Himself. If what youโ€™re sensing:

  • Conflicts with Scripture
  • Violates the fruit of the Spirit
  • Encourages pride, bitterness, revenge, or fear

โ€ฆitโ€™s not from Him.

1 John 4:1 says, โ€œDo not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.โ€

Here are a few reliable โ€œfiltersโ€:

  • Scripture: Is it aligned with the Bible?
  • Godโ€™s Nature: Is it loving, just, patient, holy?
  • Confirmation: Has this been confirmed through wise counsel, dreams, or timing?
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5. Lean Into the Spiritual Disciplines

Discerning Godโ€™s voice isnโ€™t about a formulaโ€”itโ€™s about familiarity. And you only become familiar with someoneโ€™s voice by spending consistent time with them.

Key disciplines that sharpen discernment:

  • Prayer: Not just talking, but listening
  • Scripture Study: Learning His patterns and priorities
  • Worship: Sensitizing your spirit to His presence
  • Journaling: Tracking what Heโ€™s showing you
  • Fasting: Quieting distractions so you can hear clearly

Think of discernment like tuning into a radio frequencyโ€”these habits help you tune out the static.


6. Ask for Confirmation Without Guilt

God is not offended when you ask Him to confirm something. Look at Gideon in Judges 6โ€”he asked twice for a sign with the fleece, and God responded with patience.

Confirmation isnโ€™t a lack of faithโ€”itโ€™s a step of wisdom when your heart truly wants to obey.

Ask yourself: Do I believe God wants me to be clear, or do I believe He enjoys watching me struggle?
Your view of God impacts how you hear from Him.


7. Recognize How God Uniquely Speaks to You

Godโ€™s voice is personal. He may speak through:

  • Scripture that leaps off the page
  • Inner convictions or “nudges”
  • Dreams or visions (Acts 2:17)
  • Other believers or prophetic words
  • Open or closed doors
  • Persistent thoughts that align with truth

Donโ€™t box Him in.

Final Encouragement

If youโ€™re struggling to hear God, donโ€™t panicโ€”pursue. Donโ€™t retreat into doubtโ€”lean in with humility, patience, and expectation.

Godโ€™s silence isnโ€™t rejectionโ€”itโ€™s an invitation into deeper relationship.

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9 Ways to Stay Obedient in Your Building Season

Obedience isnโ€™t a momentโ€”itโ€™s a muscle. And building with God often comes with emotional weight. Hereโ€™s how to stay faithful:

  1. Choose God daily. Itโ€™s not one โ€œyesโ€โ€”itโ€™s a thousand.
  2. Prioritize prayer. You canโ€™t be faithful without staying connected.
  3. Study Godโ€™s Word. Learn His voice, His ways, and His patterns.
  4. Soak in worship. It aligns your heart and silences doubt.
  5. Seek godly guidance. The Holy Spirit and wise believers are both key.
  6. Obey the hard stuff. Faithfulness isnโ€™t always comfortable.
  7. Cling to Godโ€™s promises. Heโ€™s not just ableโ€”Heโ€™s trustworthy.
  8. Live it out. Serve, forgive, and walk the talk.
  9. Shift your perspective. Ask God, โ€œHow do You see this?โ€

When Healing Becomes a Hindrance: Are You Stuck in Recovery Mode?

Healing is a processโ€”but itโ€™s also a gateway. Sometimes, we overstay the season of โ€œgetting betterโ€ and avoid the hard call to move forward.

Healing doesnโ€™t always mean wholeness before obedience. God often calls us to walk while wounded.

โ€œYou wonโ€™t always feel readyโ€”but faith is about trusting even when you donโ€™t.โ€

Are you still waiting to โ€œfeel betterโ€ before you obey God?

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Reflection Homework

Make a list of anyone youโ€™ve gone โ€œno contactโ€ or โ€œlow contactโ€ with. Write:

  • Why the distance began
  • Whether it was from God or self
  • Where your heart stands today

Pray for clarity, healing, and direction. And if God leads you to reconcileโ€”be open. Forgiveness is freedom, even when boundaries remain.

Verse of the Day: Luke 17:32โ€“33

โ€œRemember Lotโ€™s wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.โ€

Sometimes, letting go is the only way forward.

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for Season 2 of my Scratch Everything Podcast! It’s Here!

Not only is there an upcoming episode on “Going No Contact: What Does the Bible Say” on the podcast, but the 1st NEW episode from Season 2 is one to watch + listen to if you’ve struggled with moving by Faith! See Below.

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Final Thought

Going no contact with family isnโ€™t about cultureโ€”itโ€™s about calling. If God is asking you to separate, trust that He has purpose in the pruning. But stay humble, stay loving, and stay surrendered. Obedience is never easyโ€”but itโ€™s always worth it.

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