An image of paint splattered.

Itโ€™s just the way weโ€™re wired. Our brains tell us that the familiar is the ONLY thing that exists best and anything outside of that just doesnโ€™t feel comfortable or is worth the pain that comes with change. But the real question that we should always ask ourselves is: is not letting go affecting your growth?

Image of a mug on a bed with a brown blanket.

Letting go is so hard to doโ€ฆโ€ฆuntil itโ€™s not. Often times we find ourselves warped in our own negative thoughts about the letting go of a relationship or thing that we hold dear to ourselvesโ€“although weโ€™re well aware of the implications of keep said thing or people. Granted, itโ€™s definitely not an easy thing to do, especially when youโ€™ve spent so much of your time and space with someone or something which has created a deep investment that you canโ€™t get back.

However, there does come a time in our lifeโ€™s journey, where the pain of letting go seems smaller than the pain of holding on.

Letting go or removing yourself from a particular situation or person is going to feel uncomfortable. Thatโ€™s just a fact. But the important thing is that we understand that in order to grow, we have to be willing to face discomfort for a period of time. Letโ€™s think about a Butterfly and the way it โ€˜morphsโ€™ from a mere insect (caterpillar). As we know, a butterfly starts off as a simple caterpillar, often overlooked and rarely noticed while itโ€™s on the ground, roaming around and eating leaves of plants for nutrition. Then it decides to wrap itself inside of a โ€œcocoonโ€ for who knows how long (while being uncomfortable Iโ€™m sure), until it eventually morphs into a beautiful Butterfly, which we almost always notice at first glance in admiration to itโ€™s beauty.

Our View isnโ€™t Wide Enough. Itโ€™s in the Middle that Real Transformation Begins.

Now, what we see is often the beginning and the end of everything, but never the middle stages (aka the process). The crazy thing is that the middle stages are often the โ€œgray areasโ€ in our lives that produce the most beautiful, transformative, redemptive resultsโ€”-yet it creates all of the doubt, frustration, fear, and everything else that tries to force us to make a sudden โ€œU-turnโ€ back to what we know and are familiar to.

However, if we stick it out long enough, our newness will feel way more freeing than our โ€˜oldnessโ€™ ever could; much like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Iโ€™m pretty certain that the butterfly would never think about turning back into itโ€™s previous state because itโ€™s now able to fly higher, be more swift, and see the world from a whole new, heightened view. Could this be how youโ€™d feel if you embraced your own change and transitions in your life?

In comparison, this happens to us once we understand the art of letting go, especially when we have a God who SEES ALL. The blueprint isnโ€™t always laid out before us and we donโ€™t always know what will be, but we must at least be willing to take the risk for what could be based on what the Father has promised. Iโ€™ve learned along my own journey that not everything youโ€™ve known is good for you.

An image of a bubble floating.

Isaiah 43:18-19: God tells his people to โ€œforget the former things; do not dwell on the pastโ€. He also says that he is doing a new thing and has plans for the future.

In Isaiah 43, we are reminded of the importance of letting go of the former things, not just because the past is old, but because we should always notice that God is BIG ENOUGH to do new thingsโ€”always. He never needs to do anything twice. He never needs to follow a blueprint or what seems logical. Heโ€™s God. Heโ€™s the creator of ALL THINGS, which means that He can use them to work together to make ANYTHING.

Sometimes, you grow numb to the painful things or you settle for the least thing because the greater thing seems so much more impossible, and you find yourself stuck in this continuous rut of complacent expectancy; in fear that youโ€™ll be disappointed or let down if you decide to take a dive into something better. Remember that you serve a God who is above all. Itโ€™s so imperative for us to continuously walk by faith because itโ€™s only faith that moves Him.

For we live by faith, not by sight. (Hebrews 11:6) And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. โ€” 2 Corinthians 5:7

The Process isnโ€™t Meant to Be Easy.

The part that often deters us in the letting go and transitional phases of our lives is that fact that itโ€™s not easy. Somehow, we gain this notion that because weโ€™re walking with God, things should just fall into place easily because He is God, right? Yes, thatโ€™s true. And there will be moments where He will help us carry our load and strengthen us in the midst of the suffering. However, Heโ€™s not a genie and doesnโ€™t just appear for us to make a solid wish and things become easy by association.

Jesus reminds us that we WILL suffer in this life. We WILL be persecuted for His name sake. We WILL face hard things. But those moments wonโ€™t compare to the Glory weโ€™ll step into with the Lord in both this life (if itโ€™s within the Fatherโ€™s will) or in eternal life. โ€œDear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.โ€ โ€” 1 Peter 4:12-13

So, in the tough โ€˜in-betweensโ€™, letโ€™s hold close to the Father. Those are the moments that we should take our cares to Jesus, pray without ceasing, remain in a place of worship, meditate on His word and the things Heโ€™s already told us. One thing Iโ€™ve learned in my own lifeโ€™s journey, is that Godโ€™s word never comes back null or void. It will carry out what Heโ€™s set out for it to doโ€”-no matter the amount of time it takes.

Hold on. The process isnโ€™t meant to be easy.

An image of a bouquet of pink flowers.

It Takes Great Faith. Everyone Doesnโ€™t Have it.

Unfortunately, you wonโ€™t always have people beside you who will be determined enough to be like โ€œPeterโ€ and walk on water while standing outside the boat because they want to be โ€œwith youโ€ in spite of the risksโ€”-much like Peter did with Jesus. Some people are comfortable being on the boat because itโ€™s easier to prepare for whatโ€™s next that way. They can see everything from a particular vantage point, they wonโ€™t face the possibility of sinking, and they can steer away if any threat comes towards them. And thereโ€™s nothing wrong with that. The wrong part is not understanding who and where you are and staying where they are in hopes of โ€œhaving companyโ€.

You wonโ€™t grow that way. You wonโ€™t stretch that way. You wonโ€™t do the Fatherโ€™s will that way. In fact, youโ€™ll be miserable, frustrated, and lost because what God has placed inside of you will feel quenched and unattended to. 

While there isnโ€™t one single written manual in the world when it comes to moving on and healing after any relationship or thing ends, you must understand that the Word of God speaks to everything. In the gospels, Jesus shows us a variety of examples on how to deal with the ending of things, transitions, Godโ€™s timing to perform, and so much more.

But as you start to move forward, everything begins to be your new normal as time passesโ€”as long as youโ€™re continuously renewing your mind with the Word of God. So kick, scream, cry, be sad, angry and second-guess yourself for only a moment; David sure did in many instances in the book of Psalm. However, much like David, come back to the truth of who God is and how Heโ€™s still worthy to be praised, sovereign, and just in ALL His ways.

Joy Does Come in the Morning.

โ€œWeeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.โ€ โ€” Psalm 30:5

New things will begin to fall into place soon enough. New people sent by God will cross paths with you soon enough. New opportunities will open up the door for you soon enough. Just keep going. Keep allowing the Potter to form you as clay with His hands. Keep trusting in His way + will. Keep pressing and being obedient to what He said. The masterpiece takes molding, shaping, and a ton of other things which makes the process feel more painful and refiningโ€”-but itโ€™s all in preparation for the finished product. The perfect transformation.

You are that masterpiece in Godโ€™s eyes. Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s important that we understand that before we can have the โ€œgood things that are aligned with Godโ€™s will for usโ€, we must be willing to go through the purification and pruning process to be mature enough, within good character, with the right vision/clarity of Godโ€™s plans, and intertwined with the Lord. No shortcuts. No secret routes. No avoiding.

Believer it or not, oftentimes we arenโ€™t ready for what God has for us because of lingering baggage, unsettled anger, deeply unhealed wounds, negative thinking, lack of faith, double-mindedness, disobedience, rebellion, pride, resentment, bitternessโ€”-you name it.

An image of paint splattered.

Cut it Out.

And Yes, those things will block you from what the Father has for you AND your ability to actually see (and steward well) the good things that are birthed before you. So, let them go.

Cutting out and uprooting the issues at the root creates capacity for the good things to be filled in their place. Thatโ€™s how life works. Thatโ€™s how nature works. Malnourished things die off so that new life can be formed. Thatโ€™s how the transitions in our lives and relationships work as well.

Relationships do take work, but working on ourselves take much more work. I strongly believe that some relationships are harder because the individuals never work on themselves first, therefore, when you add more unfinished work to something that already takes works, youโ€™re often left with dysfunction.

The art of letting go is to kill the unhealthy relationships/things so that new, healthy ones can grow.

Letting go is so hard to doโ€ฆโ€ฆuntil the consequences of not doing so makes it not so hard.

Be obedient to the Fatherโ€™s request. 

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