It’s just the way we’re wired. Our brains tell us that the familiar is the ONLY thing that exists best and anything outside of that just doesn’t feel comfortable or is worth the pain that comes with change. But the real question that we should always ask ourselves is: is not letting go affecting your growth?
Letting go is so hard to do……until it’s not. Often times we find ourselves warped in our own negative thoughts about the letting go of a relationship or thing that we hold dear to ourselves–although we’re well aware of the implications of keep said thing or people. Granted, it’s definitely not an easy thing to do, especially when you’ve spent so much of your time and space with someone or something which has created a deep investment that you can’t get back.
However, there does come a time in our life’s journey, where the pain of letting go seems smaller than the pain of holding on.
Letting go or removing yourself from a particular situation or person is going to feel uncomfortable. That’s just a fact. But the important thing is that we understand that in order to grow, we have to be willing to face discomfort for a period of time. Let’s think about a Butterfly and the way it ‘morphs’ from a mere insect (caterpillar). As we know, a butterfly starts off as a simple caterpillar, often overlooked and rarely noticed while it’s on the ground, roaming around and eating leaves of plants for nutrition. Then it decides to wrap itself inside of a “cocoon” for who knows how long (while being uncomfortable I’m sure), until it eventually morphs into a beautiful Butterfly, which we almost always notice at first glance in admiration to it’s beauty.
Our View isn’t Wide Enough. It’s in the Middle that Real Transformation Begins.
Now, what we see is often the beginning and the end of everything, but never the middle stages (aka the process). The crazy thing is that the middle stages are often the “gray areas” in our lives that produce the most beautiful, transformative, redemptive results—-yet it creates all of the doubt, frustration, fear, and everything else that tries to force us to make a sudden “U-turn” back to what we know and are familiar to.
However, if we stick it out long enough, our newness will feel way more freeing than our ‘oldness’ ever could; much like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I’m pretty certain that the butterfly would never think about turning back into it’s previous state because it’s now able to fly higher, be more swift, and see the world from a whole new, heightened view. Could this be how you’d feel if you embraced your own change and transitions in your life?
In comparison, this happens to us once we understand the art of letting go, especially when we have a God who SEES ALL. The blueprint isn’t always laid out before us and we don’t always know what will be, but we must at least be willing to take the risk for what could be based on what the Father has promised. I’ve learned along my own journey that not everything you’ve known is good for you.
Isaiah 43:18-19: God tells his people to “forget the former things; do not dwell on the past”. He also says that he is doing a new thing and has plans for the future.
In Isaiah 43, we are reminded of the importance of letting go of the former things, not just because the past is old, but because we should always notice that God is BIG ENOUGH to do new things—always. He never needs to do anything twice. He never needs to follow a blueprint or what seems logical. He’s God. He’s the creator of ALL THINGS, which means that He can use them to work together to make ANYTHING.
Sometimes, you grow numb to the painful things or you settle for the least thing because the greater thing seems so much more impossible, and you find yourself stuck in this continuous rut of complacent expectancy; in fear that you’ll be disappointed or let down if you decide to take a dive into something better. Remember that you serve a God who is above all. It’s so imperative for us to continuously walk by faith because it’s only faith that moves Him.
For we live by faith, not by sight. (Hebrews 11:6) And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. — 2 Corinthians 5:7
The Process isn’t Meant to Be Easy.
The part that often deters us in the letting go and transitional phases of our lives is that fact that it’s not easy. Somehow, we gain this notion that because we’re walking with God, things should just fall into place easily because He is God, right? Yes, that’s true. And there will be moments where He will help us carry our load and strengthen us in the midst of the suffering. However, He’s not a genie and doesn’t just appear for us to make a solid wish and things become easy by association.
Jesus reminds us that we WILL suffer in this life. We WILL be persecuted for His name sake. We WILL face hard things. But those moments won’t compare to the Glory we’ll step into with the Lord in both this life (if it’s within the Father’s will) or in eternal life. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” — 1 Peter 4:12-13
So, in the tough ‘in-betweens’, let’s hold close to the Father. Those are the moments that we should take our cares to Jesus, pray without ceasing, remain in a place of worship, meditate on His word and the things He’s already told us. One thing I’ve learned in my own life’s journey, is that God’s word never comes back null or void. It will carry out what He’s set out for it to do—-no matter the amount of time it takes.
Hold on. The process isn’t meant to be easy.
It Takes Great Faith. Everyone Doesn’t Have it.
Unfortunately, you won’t always have people beside you who will be determined enough to be like “Peter” and walk on water while standing outside the boat because they want to be “with you” in spite of the risks—-much like Peter did with Jesus. Some people are comfortable being on the boat because it’s easier to prepare for what’s next that way. They can see everything from a particular vantage point, they won’t face the possibility of sinking, and they can steer away if any threat comes towards them. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The wrong part is not understanding who and where you are and staying where they are in hopes of “having company”.
You won’t grow that way. You won’t stretch that way. You won’t do the Father’s will that way. In fact, you’ll be miserable, frustrated, and lost because what God has placed inside of you will feel quenched and unattended to.
While there isn’t one single written manual in the world when it comes to moving on and healing after any relationship or thing ends, you must understand that the Word of God speaks to everything. In the gospels, Jesus shows us a variety of examples on how to deal with the ending of things, transitions, God’s timing to perform, and so much more.
But as you start to move forward, everything begins to be your new normal as time passes—as long as you’re continuously renewing your mind with the Word of God. So kick, scream, cry, be sad, angry and second-guess yourself for only a moment; David sure did in many instances in the book of Psalm. However, much like David, come back to the truth of who God is and how He’s still worthy to be praised, sovereign, and just in ALL His ways.
Joy Does Come in the Morning.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” — Psalm 30:5
New things will begin to fall into place soon enough. New people sent by God will cross paths with you soon enough. New opportunities will open up the door for you soon enough. Just keep going. Keep allowing the Potter to form you as clay with His hands. Keep trusting in His way + will. Keep pressing and being obedient to what He said. The masterpiece takes molding, shaping, and a ton of other things which makes the process feel more painful and refining—-but it’s all in preparation for the finished product. The perfect transformation.
You are that masterpiece in God’s eyes. That’s why it’s important that we understand that before we can have the “good things that are aligned with God’s will for us”, we must be willing to go through the purification and pruning process to be mature enough, within good character, with the right vision/clarity of God’s plans, and intertwined with the Lord. No shortcuts. No secret routes. No avoiding.
Believer it or not, oftentimes we aren’t ready for what God has for us because of lingering baggage, unsettled anger, deeply unhealed wounds, negative thinking, lack of faith, double-mindedness, disobedience, rebellion, pride, resentment, bitterness—-you name it.
Cut it Out.
And Yes, those things will block you from what the Father has for you AND your ability to actually see (and steward well) the good things that are birthed before you. So, let them go.
Cutting out and uprooting the issues at the root creates capacity for the good things to be filled in their place. That’s how life works. That’s how nature works. Malnourished things die off so that new life can be formed. That’s how the transitions in our lives and relationships work as well.
Relationships do take work, but working on ourselves take much more work. I strongly believe that some relationships are harder because the individuals never work on themselves first, therefore, when you add more unfinished work to something that already takes works, you’re often left with dysfunction.
The art of letting go is to kill the unhealthy relationships/things so that new, healthy ones can grow.
Letting go is so hard to do……until the consequences of not doing so makes it not so hard.
Be obedient to the Father’s request.
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